The hardest thing for me was realizing that what I prayed for took a lot of work to maintain.
Coming from a life where all I ever knew was to fight to protect and to defend myself, I started to quickly realize that Mentality could not work with the Godly man God had placed in my life.
Being with someone at a level you prayed for prematurely can cause you to feel overwhelmingly stressed. And this can stem from, you having to catch up to his level at all times.
Feeling connected and equally yoked with your Man of God will be difficult to do at his level when you know you still need some growth mentally, some surrendering, and some healing to do. Even while in my dysfunctional relationships I remember falling on my face in tears asking God to send me a man that would love me the way He loves me. In the middle of what I was asking for I still was unsure on how much my Heavenly Father truly loved me. I remember praying that prayer many times, but never really understanding what it really took to have such a thing. There was some work that needed to be done within me before I can even handle what I was asking for, yet alone love someone else Gods way. I had to stop allowing my emotions to lead my life and take full accountability for my actions and the words that came out of my mouth.
For many years I’ve spoken without thought. Whatever I felt I said even if it hurt. I allowed my feelings and others to dictate my actions which caused me to make some really bad choices in my life. I've settled and settled for men at my level- At a level where I saw no value in myself. I was blinded by the lies of the enemy since the beginning of my childhood. For years my happiness depended on others and I allowed my mindset to remain in the only things I thought to be true. This level I was in at the time caused me to believe that sex was the only way to connect, the only way to keep a man loving me. When all along the man God had for me saw more value in my walk spiritually than anything else. How blinded was I? My corrupted ways of thinking only attached me to soul tides with men that God never wanted for me. I now know that in those moments of prayer, God was listening, but in order for Him to bless me with the man I was asking for I had to be on another level.
Many times we want what we want, but we don't realize there is still much work that needs to be done within us before God can bless us with the desires of our hearts.
There was some stuff I had to die to:
-My sinful ways had to die
-My prideful ways had to die -My defensiveness had to die -My selfishness had to die -My victim mentality had to die -My fleshly desires had to die -Me being in control of things had to die -My humility has to always be on the forefront -I have to respect the man I’m with -I have to submit as God Word says -I had to trust to be Vulnerable -I had to know no leave -I had to learn to choose my words wisely -Be quick to listen & slow to speak
What a Man on Gods Level looks like: -His sinful ways is dead -His prideful ways is dead -His defensiveness is dead -His selfishness is dead -His victim mentality is dead -His fleshly ways is dead -He will respect you -He will wait till marriage for you -His Humility will always be at the forefront -He will build you up -He will know no leave -He will wash you in the Word -He will love you the way God loves you -He will only have eyes for you
Me being transparent with you, let me just tell you God is still working on me with a few minor things. It wasn't until God met me at my lowest that I was able to see the damage I caused myself and all around me. It was as if I was numb, my whole entire life. The more I pressed into His Word and the more I surrendered, He was able to take me to a higher level- And the higher I got, the more I saw my worth, the more I saw the value in what I was holding inside of me, the more confident I became. I stand here today unashamed. I can look you in the face and tell you, some days I still fall short. God is still doing the mending. I made some horrible choices in my life. Yes, I've sinned, I'm not perfect and never once thought I was- And I'm OK with that because I'm no longer where I used to be. I went back and asked for forgiveness to all those I hurt and forgave all those that hurt me- I'm free!
My happiness is on me now and I've learned to be complete in Him-My Heavenly Father. I'm just grateful that even in my mess God never left me, even in my mess I was still crying out for God to fix me, and even then when He had every reason to ditch me He didn't!
It could be that the man you're asking God for- He's waiting to give.. but you need to remember that when He gives him to you that man will be at the level you're asking for.. And all I'm saying to you sis is be ready! The question you really need to be asking yourself is " Am I ready for the man I'm praying for?". Be prepared to die to some things! Love BRI